At the risk of giving away the climax of what I am going to say – let me start by saying that last night was tough. I broke down. It came from no where and I started crying. Hysterically.
Have you had a time where it feels like things are piling up, nothing seems to go right, the to do list is getting out of control and you seem to be adding more to it than checking off. I’ve been so overwhelmed with everything lately – just feeling that work is piling up, I haven’t been able to post to the blog which affects me a lot because it so much a part of my life and therapeutic to me when I write – so not being able to post makes stresses me out. And then the usual stuff – daily routine, kid, home, social stuff, ordering/shopping stuff for the home… all that.
And trust me – I know the whole break down what needs to be done thing. Manage time. Prioritize. One thing at a time. Delegate. But then some times it feels like a dam crashing and you are drowning. That’s what happened.
My mental checklist was exploding. I turned on my coffee machine for my cappuccino which you know is my version of self-care – I forgot to keep the coffee mug in the machine, the coffee came out creating a mess and seeping inside the machine and that’s what triggered it. I broke down!
Why am I sharing this.
- not to get sympathy. Not at all. Ugh. Major turn off for me anyway
- Not to show how busy I am. Nope. Not delusional. I know that we all have million things on our plate
Because sometimes I get messages asking how I do it all. The truth is I don’t. Or I see people commenting “goals” on accounts. None of that is the whole picture. The social media life is such a curated version of a snapshot of our lives. My goal is to keep it real here. And the reality is we all feel drowned, overwhelmed at times. And it is okay to cry it out. okay to take a break and start again. Okay to go to bed early and get some rest. Okay to soak in the tub, put on a mask, sit down and drink your coffee. Okay to do whatever fills your cup again before you can pour from it.
Anyways I cried my eyes out. I went to bed right away. The next morning nothing miraculously changed. There weren’t any elves who magically completed everything on my list. My list is still the same. I still have a lot of work to do. But atleast my outburst, the sleep helped. What is important is admitting that I was drowning. The self-inflicted pressure to keep going and keep rocking at everything does no one any good. admitting things are falling through the cracks and you need to take a break is the right start.
And as for a happy ending to this post – My husband made me coffee after I created that big mess. Also cleaned up the machine. And I am here with my coffee again, with my favorite under-eye masks that seriously feel like they are soaking away the stress from my under-eyes and I am writing this post which actually makes me feel much-much better =)) xx Neha
9 comments
Here is the real honest truth. You are the problem. You create the problem and then you vent the problem on stories or blog hoping to feel better. You create things and lists and expectations in your head for yourself. Having expectations of yourself to blog, post and story while trying to have normal life that is actual family time with no shoots or writing or no worries to take pics of your child would be normal. You can’t have it all, the main problem is you want to have it all while saying you don’t want it all to people around you. Let go of these expectations you have in your head, life will be actually more enjoyable and relaxing.
The honest truth is everyone wants it all. Your comment may be well intentioned but it reeks of bitterness. Each person is different and to want it all , to want to be a certain way for oneself doesn’t make someone less as much as it doesn’t make someone -who judges it- anything more. Be kind , a little kinder than you think you can be. Words are cheap, life is hard… and compassion underrated…
I love the honesty of this post. Thanks for the reminder that the curated version of people that we see on social media is not the full picture.
I think in our generation we try to take on too much, and do it all perfectly. It takes a toll. Combine it with the fact that many of us are far from our support systems (family etc). Juggling so many roles as we do today (you more than the average person) is bound to cause us to breakdown once in a while. We never let ourselves have any downtime, and hence mental well-being is harder to achieve.
One thing that I find helpful when things get overwhelming is to think of the bigger picture. The smaller stresses and deadlines fade away when you take a moment to be grateful for things that matter the most.
Good luck Neha.. hugs to you! 🤗
Thanks for this note, Neha. It is true – we are all juggling so much.
And the support systems this generation has isnt as big as what our parents and grandparents had.
Not to take away from the sacrifices and struggles they made – but boy is this hard at times 🙂
Love the way you put it – gratitude and focussing at the bigger picture when it gets overwhelming.
This is for you Neha
“I am a strong woman. Everything that’s hit me in life I’ve dealt with on my own. I’ve cried myself to sleep. Picked myself back up and wiped my own tears. I have grown from things meant to break me. I get stronger by the day and I have God to thank for that.””
mummy, this is so beautiful. It is true for you – not for me. You are the epitome of a strong woman. The strongest I know! But I need my system to help me get through times. But yes, stronger by the day and growing from things that pull you down.
Crying is a sign of strength, not weakness. Crying helps you release toxins and reduces stress. Infact its extremely healthy to breakdown once you’ve reach your threshold level. You got this sister – you are doing very well in life in the roles of a mother, wife, entrepreneur, professional. Its great to acknowledge our emotions, only human and I know you will get back with a bang!! 😘😘
Thanks for sharing! I have SO been there. Sharing helps just letting it out, and I agree about writing be cathartic. Hope you have a wonderful week love!
Amy Ann
Straight A Style
A rainy day once in a while always welcomes the sunshine to follow 🙂 Glad you got your coffee, inhale some of its wonderfulness for all of us 😉